Listed below are various ways to tell if you are living in a Brucio World. If every one of them applies to you, then hey, you might be Bruce yourself!

Ferrets creep you out

You can tell really neat stories in 30 seconds

You're overly protective of your pens

You occasionally notice things about your hands

When you're depressed, you wear sweatpants and a raincoat

Terriers are your favorite type of breed (although you have a poodle)

You've been tempted many times to take a wok cooking class

You have an unhealthy obsession with answering machines

You're not gonna spread for no roses

Your wardrobe includes multiple pairs of boots, a long scarf, anything plaid, and/or a beaded unicorn T-shirt

When your bike wheel is stolen you write an open letter to the guy who stole it and the people who watched.

You eat spaghetti for breakfast

You fall asleep with the TV on

You never trust a guy who keeps his change in his wallet

You never trust a guy who says "trust me"

You never trust a guy who repeats himself

People often mistake you for Bruce Springsteen

You keep your underwear in the 'fridge

You live in the biggest city, yet have the smallest apartment

You never answer your phone

You hate reggae music

Your sister's a stranger (even if you don't have one)

You often curl up in the fetal position and lick the Bible for strength

You indulge in corn chips and salsa before you masturbate

You lie awake many nights wondering why women in porn always wear their shoes

You've ever rented a couch

Every day you're tempted to shave your head and start over

You have an obsession with seeing how many times you can bounce a rubber ball in the bath tub (Thanks to Mapleleafrbtry02)

YOU SELL SHOES!!!! (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You know what your head would be worth if it were made entirely out of veal, which you know that it is not (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You have those pains in your head; you know, the kind that make it hard to live, but you go on anyway (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You ascertain ANYthing (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You don't receive your bill when you ask for it (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You go home only to the darkness, the silence, the blackness (Thanks to Sara Ellis)

You are so full of beans today (Thanks to Sara Ellis and Tom who, coincidentally, thought of the same thing)

You hate jazz (Thanks to Tom)

When you eat fatty foods it goes straight to you ears (Thanks toTom)

You couldn't find love in the body of a dead elk (Thanks to Tom)

You have a dog named "small mammal with whom I live a lie" (Thanks to Tom)

You like to mix, mix, stir, stir, you married young, it's all a blur (Thanks to Sarah Young)

You REALLY like salt (Thanks to Justin)

You may get the bill, but your not going to pay it (Thanks to Justin)

You count out the Daves in you life (Thanks to Justin)

You did all your acid in grade 8 (Thanks to Christine)

You sit around on the couch with the channel changer under your chin (Thanks to Caroline)

Jim FUCKIN' Morrison tells you! (Thanks to Jenni B.)

You're hip, you're cool, you're 45. (Thanks to Jenni B.)

You're sorry you caused all that cancer (Thanks to Jenni B.)

Your position on abortion is "never on the first date" (Thanks to Jenni B.)

No one understands you (Thanks to Jenni B.)

If anyone can think of anything else to add, please send it here. Thanks!

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